


Things that are no Longer allowed to do (FE)

by DrexelDragonz



Category: Fire Emblem Series
Genre: Humor, I'm Not Ashamed, Multi, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-07 19:10:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 5,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14087727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrexelDragonz/pseuds/DrexelDragonz
Summary: FE shenanigans! OOC characters! A lot of screaming, facepalming and all around chaos. Hilarity Ensues! -Rule Breakah!-





	1. Chapter 1

Author's Note:

X-posting from FF! Hope ya enjoy!

Disclaimer: FE belongs to IS and Nintendo.

Law 1: By the tactician's decree, you are to stop joking about Eliwood and Durandal. It's getting old. Yes, I am talking about you Hector.

-Ostia-

"Hey, Eliwood!" Hector called out to the red haired Lord who was practicing his swordsmanship. "Hector, what brings you here? Are you going to practice?" Eliwood gave his friend a smile. "No, it's just that. Are you compensating? Durandal is so big." Hector choked, trying to hold in his laughter. Eliwood only sighed. "Hector, that joke is getting old."

"Sorry, I can't help myself, whenever I saw you holding that big ass sword." Hector never finished because he was too busy laughing his ass out. "I shall leave you too that, see you later Hector." Eliwood walks away leaving a laughing Hector behind.

-Next Day-

-Castle Ostia Courtyard-

"So! How was your date with your wife?" Hector asked, he along with Lyn, Eliwood and Mark where having a picnic outside. "It was great, we went for a walk, and then I brought her to a local restaurant."

"So? Did you use your Durandal on Ninian?" Lyn did a spit take covering an unsuspecting Mark with water and Mark for her part ignored it, she was too busy choking on her food. Eliwood was as bright as the fire from Athos's Forblaze. "Hector?!" Eliwood exclaimed aghast at what his best friend said. For Hector's part he was laughing so hard, his face was blue. "There's a dark humor there somewhere Hector." Lyn said passing a glass of water to a blue faced Mark. "Your face! You should have seen it."

"Hector, really, you're a married man. Don't make jokes like that about your friend." Mark said, when she can finally breathe, dabbing her face with a handkerchief, a worried Lyn patting her back. "Or Farina's gonna divorce you."

Hector didn't answer, "Not so funny now." Mark said, with a smirk. "Let's just continue our picnic please. Mark only visits once every month."

But Hector was relentless; he still kept on joking about Durandal. Eliwood talking to Marcus he jokes, Eliwood taking a walk he jokes, Eliwood taking a bath he jokes, Eliwood relieving himself in the bathroom he jokes (The heck Hector!) Finally Eliwood snapped. Yes, kind hearted Eliwood snapped. "I have been putting up with it for days! But no more!"

"Hey, Eliwoo-" Hector never finished his sentence. He falls on his front, sporting an orange sized bump on his head. Behind him was Eliwood, Durandal in hand, looking smug. Off in the distance Lyn saw the event that happened. "Maybe we should've sealed that sword," Lyn said, realization dawns on her face. "We should have done that from the beginning." With a sigh, she walks out.

End Note:

And Chapter 1 is done! Thank you for reading!


	2. Chapter 2

Law 2: The growth potion that Miriel has created is hereby destroyed; you are no longer allowed to produce more and sell them. Yes, I am talking about you Anna.

"Has anyone seen Miriel?" Chrom looks up from the paper he was holding, Miriel, was one of his advisors, along with Frederick and Robin, but the glasses wearing mage was absent. "My Lord, she has told us that she will not be present today, something about an experiment needed to be proven?" Frederick said, "Seems like it's important to her, so I approved of her leave." Robin added in not looking up from the papers he was signing.

"It's not something dangerous is it?" Chrom asked, making sure that it was really just a simple experiment.

"I don't think so; she said she was working with, a grass, moss, and Elixir." Robin was proven wrong when a explosion rang across the Palace. "What in the name of Naga was that?!" Chrom exclaimed standing up from his throne. The door opened with a bang, a disheveled Cordelia entered, for some reason she was covered in hay. "My Lord! It's an emergency! Miriel created some sort of Potion! And-"

"Cordelia calm down, what did Miriel do this time?" Chrom consoled the wide eyed Pegasus Captain. "It's easier if you see it for yourself! Quick!" They look at each other, shrug their shoulders and run out of the throne room, following Cordelia.

-Training Ground-

"Ahhhhh!"

"It's scarier than Grima!"

"Naga have mercy!"

"Run for your lives!"

Where the screams that was reverberating across the training ground. When Chrom and the others got there, they nearly lost their will and wanted to run away. "Like I'll let a giant bug beat me!" was Sally's battle cry. She charge at the monster, but was swatted away like a bug (the irony).

"Burn it with fire!" Ricken shouted. Before he can even chant a spell, the monster opened its wings blowing away the tome off of the mage's hand "Never mind!" and screamed like a girl. "Did someone say burn it!" Nowi's childish voice joined in the chaos. Her eyes lit up when she saw the giant monster. "Yehey! I got a playmate!" she transformed and tackled monster. "Mother! Calm down!" Nah shouted a few seconds later, she abruptly shrieks when she saw her mother's new playmate, a few seconds later she faints.

"My Lord, what are your orders?" Frederick asked not the least bit faze, "I got the antidote!" Miriel exclaimed; she ducked when a screaming Libra passed her head.

"Robin and Ricken I want you to help Miriel with administering the antidote! The others help me distract it!"

"Yes sir!" with a cry they charge the giant monster. "Miriel what do we need to do!" Robin shouted to his fellow mage. 

"We need to get on its back!" Miriel said 

"Can't we just throw it at that thing?" Ricken said, a girlie shriek was heard in the background, "Now that you mention it, we can." Miriel adjusted her glasses. "Okay then. So who's going to throw it?" Robin asked, they look at the monster and then at each other and ready their fist. "Rock, Paper, Scissors."

Chrom looks back and saw the 3 mage playing. "For the love of all that is good! Hurry up!" he blocks a kick sent his way. "Just a few more seconds!" Robin shouted, "We don't have a second!" Chrom shouted back. "Ha! I win!" Ricken puts his hands up.

Robin cursed under his breath. "I'll do it then, give me the antidote. Don't blame me if I miss!" Miriel handed it over.

"Don't miss! We only have one!" Miriel said,

"Now you tell me! Way to put the guy on the spot!"

"Wait a minute! Can't we just let Frederick or Cordelia threw it. They freaking throw javelins for a living." Ricken said, making the 2 stop. "Oh yeah. Cordelia!" Robin, shouted to the Pegasus Knight, who was chucking Javelins at the monster. "Yeah!" she shouted back. 

"We need you to do something!"

The Pegasus Knight flew down. "What is it?"

"Throw this potion at that thing!" Robin points at the monster, which was a giant cockroach.

"Got it!"

Thanks to Cordelia's perfect (*Snnnrk*) aim. The chaos was finally over. "Miriel, how in Naga's name did you make a growth potion, made out of grass, moss, and Elixir." Chrom said in between breaths.

"Scientifically speaking it is impossible, but with a liitle-"

"Don't finish that, this potion is hereby destroyed, burned, lock that recipe away, you are not to make more of this," Chrom said, "You gave my daughter a heart attack!" Chrom pointed at his daughter, who was being given first aid by Lissa. 

"Very well." Miriel said.

"Is it bad, that things like this are normal around here?" Robin asked. "You're not the only one. Everyone here is crazy!" Cordelia admitted. "Guess I'm going to add a new Law," Robin sighed, "More paper works."

"I'm going to be rich!" Shouted a red haired girl behind a pillar, "Now how to get that recipe." She mumbled, and then sneaked away, giggling all the way. Guess Robin's headache will get much, much worst.


	3. Chapter 3

Law 3: Everyone is to stop making fun of the blue haired Lords. Just because the majority of them are, well, blue haired. They're sulking (not) in a pub. 

The cross roads, also known as a place in the middle of all the Fire Emblem World. This was the place where the different Fire Emblem casts come to relax and have fun; here we can see different Fire Emblem characters mingling, from identical Anna's to the kids of the different Lords. But they are not the focus of our story. Our focus is located in the middle of a pub. Situated between a church and a bath house. Inside we can see a group of people drinking, when someone sees them, they point at the group then laugh, and walk away throwing in a few jokes behind them.

"I can't take it anymore! Ike stop being blue and go dye!" Hector slams his armored fist on the table. "Are you implying something with that word? Right back at you, go dye!" Ike said back. "You want a fight!" Hector roared,

"Bring it!" Ike taunted.

"Guys! Calm down. And stop saying the word dye." Marth tried to diffuse the situation. "How about him! Aren't going to ask him to dye?" Ike points at the girlie Lord.

"I was the first in the series! I have the right to keep my hair blue! You guys came after me! You guys should be the one to dye your hair!" Marth rebutted. "Hell no! I love my blue hair! I got it from you after all!" Chrom joined in. "Good point, Chrom and I can keep our blue hair then!" Marth added,

"You may have saved our series and you may be the first, but you can't make me change my hair color." Sigurd said. "Let's all calm down." Ephraim said, trying to calm the impending storm that is about to happen.

"I don't even know why I'm here. I mean I don't have blue hair." (Ha! Yeah, right.) Ephraim mumbled under his breath, "Father! Here you are!" the door to the pub open, and in came 2 kids, with blue hair. Hector slammed his face on the table, mumbling 'why'

"Lucina? What brings you here?" Chrom asked, "Mother is looking for you. She said to stop drinking with the quote, blue hairs, end quote." Lucina said, making quotation marks in the air. "Father, the same can be said for mother. She is looking for you, if you don't come back after 5 minutes, she'll put you on the couch." Seliph said to his Father. Sigurd abruptly stood up, took his son's hand and dash off. "Whipped." Ike said with a smirk. "You can say that because you aren't married yet." Marth smacked Ike on the back of his head.

Another girl came in this time, she was a cute girl, with blue hair and a tome clutched to her chest. "Father!" You might be asking, isn't Lilina Hector's daughter, but why is Hector young. Since Lilina's Hector is dead, young Hector decided to adopt her, since Farina doesn't want to have a kid yet. (Yeah, let's go with that. And they share the same world anyway.) "Lilina, what is it?"

"Can you take me to the festival! Please!" and came the dreaded puppy eyes, the eyes that can make a bandit join in your army, the eyes that can recruit the enemy. It punched through Hector's hardened chest. "Anything for my daughter!" Hector carried his daughter bridal style and run faster than a speeding Pegasus. 

"I shall be on my way as well; I do not want my wife to be angry. Lucina let us go." Chrom said standing up and walking off.

"Yes, Father." Lucina answered.

"So, since the power of wife and daughter, triumphs over anything. What now?" Ike asked, "Now we go home." Marth said, standing up. "Wait that's it?! Where's the brawl! (Get it.) Where's the fight!" Ike exclaimed, that's the reason he was riling up Hector. 

"That's because unlike you, we have a wife." Marth deadpanned.

"I don't." Ephraim added in, suddenly a disheveled Eirika slammed the door open, suprising the occupants of the room. "Brother! I need your help! L'Arachel covered the entire castle in Pegasus feathers and Tar!"

"What! How did she do that?" Ephraim asked, 

"Its L'Arachel! You don't question L'Arachel!" Eirika said like it explains everything.

"Good point!" and they run to the direction of the Outrealm gates. "Farewell Ike, let us see each other again." With a flourish of his cape Marth exits the pub, "Did he really have to do that?" Ike looks at his still full mug of Ale. "Wasn't this meeting supposed to be how we're going to stop everyone from making fun of us?" Ike asked no one in particular. "Meh, its Fire Emblem." He chugs the mug, and ordered another one.


	4. Chapter 4

Law 4: Yes Platoon 7's leader Kris is OP, so do not disturb him, and don't ask him the secret to his strength, and when he says 'want to do it with me', say no. You will die.

A nameless random generic soldier (Too long, let's call him poor soul.) Poor soul is a new recruit in the Althean Army. After the hero lord Marth defeated Medeus, again. The land celebrated; there was a party, a drunken Ogma, a drunken Wyvern and cheese. The veterans shivered whenever that topic was brought out.

'Wonder what happened?' Poor soul asked himself. Not thinking on where he was going, he ended up on the training grounds. And found himself not alone. There in the middle was Marth's trusted Aid and Platoon 7's leader. With a single swipe of his sword, he saw the training dummy fly. "Whoa." Poor soul mumbled.

"Nice work Kris!" he looks at who that voice belongs to, and saw a girl with red hair. It was the Tactician Katarina, who fought alongside Marth. "You think Lord Marth, will forgive me for all the destroyed dummies?"

"Don't worry; he'll probably joke about it." Katarina said with a laugh. She looks in the direction of poor soul. "Hey, are you a new recruit?" Poor soul was caught off guard; he didn't think a lowly soldier like him would be noticed by one of the heroes. "Yes, Ma'am!" Poor soul answered with a salute. "Come closer." With wary steps he stops in front of the 2. "You look a little thin?" Katarina asked, "Well, he passed Jagen's test, he must be strong." Kris added,

"Good point."

'This is my chance.' Poor soul thought, ever since he heard of the stories, he's been dying to know how they were so strong, especially Sir. Kris.

"Uhm, Sir. Kris, what's the secret to your strength?" Poor soul asked, making the 2 stop and look at him. 

"Secret? There's no secret. All I did was train, train and train. Speaking of training, I was about to do one now! Want to do it with me?"

Poor soul's eyes widen, one of his hero just asked him to train with him. How can he say no to that! "No, don't do it kid," Katarina said with wide eyes, "You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

Poor soul scoffs; it's just training what the worst that can happen? "Yes!" Poor soul ignored the tactician, if there's one thing you don't do, is ignore the tactician. Katarina's palm went to her face. "Your funeral, I'll wish you luck," Katarina said, "Kris go easy on him, I'll prepare the healers." With those words Katarina walks out of the training grounds. 

"So let's start! Are you ready?"

"Yes!"

-3 Hours Later-

"No! Mercy! No more!" Poor soul begged, regret clearly seen on his face. He should have listened to the smart tactician.

"Nonsense we're just warming up!"

"Warm up!" Poor soul screamed, 

"Next is log carrying! We are circling around the palace." 

Off to the side, Katarina was watching the torture being inflicted on the poor, poor soul. "You should always listen to the Tactician," she said with a smirk. "You should have called me after 6 hours; you do know Kris can last up to 10 hours right?" Malicia said, boredom clearly heard in her voice. "Sorry, wanted to see the poor recruit get beaten." Katarina said, with laugh.

"Your sadism is leaking out Kat." Malicia said, "Whoops, sorry. Should I stop my boyfriend?" Katarina said, "Yes you should, we don't want one of the recruit to die due to exhaustion."

"But,"

"No buts, Sir. Jagen will be on your throat if he finds out about this." Katarina's shoulder slump in defeat. "You can release all that pent up sadism, when you and Kris go to your room." Katarina perked, "Your right." Katarina said, and went to the training duo. "I'll pray for you Kris." Malicia said.


	5. Chapter 5

Law 5: The second promoted OP Cavaliers are to stop fighting on who was the better Lord. 

The Death Arena, named for its bloodshed. This place has held monstrous fight to the death, covering the ground with blood. But the dragon Gods found it to disgusting, so they converted it into the Pony Arena. Where the characters can ride their Horses (a lot of them) and be happy.

The cavaliers where having fun, from chasing each other, and running into the sunset. But the other side, not so much. Power was emanating from that direction.

All of the OP and overused (by beginners) 2nd class cavalier where arguing on who has the best Lord. "Lord Marth is better than your Lords, he defeated a dragon!" Jagen said,

"News flash Old man! All our Lords defeated a dragon!" Marcus said, 

"Ha, your calling him old, but you are old yourself Old Man! And we didn't defeat a dragon, we defeated a God!" Titania pointed out smugly. 

"Milady Eirika is better!" Seth joined in, 

"That is false! Lord Chrom is better." Frederick said,

"Your Lord doesn't even know how to dress right! What's with that one shoulder sleeve?" Marcus rebutted, Frederick clutch his chest. "You dare make fun of my Lord's gallant figure!"

"Ha! He just said Gallant!" Seth said, Oifey only sighed, he was talking to children, and he thought Jagen was mature. "Let's all work this out with a duel. Winner has bragging rights?" Oifey told his fellow Paladins. 

"I agree, fighting is always the best way to show results." Frederick agreed,

"I am so going to win this; unlike you guys I'm young!" Titania boasted. "Hey! I'm young too!" Seth said,

They all agreed and rode their respective horses. "Shit! The OP's are going to fight! Run for your lives!" Franz screamed, prompting the other Cavaliers to evacuate the premises.

A dramatic wind swept through the Arena, the fighters formed a circle away from each other. Like a predator they waited, waited on who was going to make the first move.

A crow landed in the middle of the circle. "Edgar where are you!" a shout was heard from the distance. Hearing this, the crow flew. Seeing that as the signal they spur their horses, Lances at ready. "For our Lords!" where there single battle cry. The blast radius was so strong that it shook the very universe itself.

The respective Lords felt the power, "Where is that coming from?" Marth asked, 

"You felt it too?" Ike said,

"Yeah." Eliwood agreed. 

"I know this, I can't remember where?" Eirika asked, making Ephraim nod. 

"Ditto." Chrom said. 

Sigurd was looking confused, he's so OP he can't feel the aura. (That didn't save him from a Valflame!) 

"Burn!" Alm suddenly said out of nowhere, making all the other Lords look at him confusedly.

The door slammed open. "My Lord! It's an emergency!" Amelia shouted, "Amelia what's wrong!" Eirika went to comfort the shaking girl. "Paladin, Overpowered!"

"Shit!" Ike said, and runs out of the building. Realizing what Paladin and OP means, all the Lord stood up and run. 

"Where are they?" Ike asked to himself

Off in the direction of the arena a mighty wind blew, "Over there! Those thunder clouds are a dead giveaway." Ephraim pointed out.

"No shit Sherlock!" Chrom exclaimed, making Ephraim pout. 

-Arena-

"What in the name of Naga is going on?" Marth yelled, clutching his smooth hair. There in the middle of the storm where multiple pair of glowing red eyes. Two lance met each other, producing a gust of wind that sent the Lords cape billowing. 

"They're demons!" Eirika shrieked. A menacing laugh was heard a demonic looking lance, swept through the other fighters. They stopped it with their own. Attacks were exchanged, every blow made the typhoon bigger. Shadows where appearing behind the respective Paladin's back, it was a picture of hell.

"So, who's going to stop them?" Ike asked, no way in hell was he going in there.

"Not me."

"Nu-uh!"

"I'd rather eat my shoe than go in there!"

"Seconded!"

"I'd rather fight multiple Nergal's and a dragon than go in there!"

They all stopped when they saw all of them discard their respective weapons. "Whew, guess the fight is over." Ike said, he was proven wrong when all of them clutched a killing edge, the shadows circled the swords transforming it into a mass of pure darkness. "Shit! I am out of here!" Ephraim said, and runs away his sister following. "Seconded!" all of them said and followed Ephraim and Eirika's cue. "AHH!" the following blow, completely destroyed the arena and the surrounding forest and buildings.

Lesson learned; don't put all OP characters in one place. It will defy all logic and make you lose sense of what is right and wrong. "So, we agree to never leave those 6 alone again?" Robin asked the people surrounding the table. 

"Agreed" Katarina, Soren, and Mark along with the other Lords nod. 

"This meeting is adjourned."

They all took their injured subordinates and entered their respective Outrealm gates. "So Frederick, what did we learn today?" Chrom asked the paladin, who was sporting a black eye. "That the six of us make the bestest of friends!" Frederick chirped, Chirped!

"I don't know anything anymore." Robin rubs his forehead.

End Note: And they all live happily ever after, not.


	6. Chapter 6

Law 6: No one is allowed to stalk the main character and or the Avatar. Yes Tharja that means you.

"This work belongs to you Chrom! Why do I have to do it?" Robin slammed the 2 feet tall stack of papers on Chrom's table. 

"Because you're the Grandmaster!" Chrom said,

"You fool!" Robin slapped Chrom on the face. "You're the King! Do your duty right!"

"Ouch! That actually hurt!" Chrom exclaimed, rubbing his sore cheeks.

"It's all your fault."

"Fine, fine I'll do it. Are you happy?" 

Robin nods, "Finally! Freedom!" he slammed the door open, breathing in fresh air. Behind the box was a certain black mage, watching his Precious. (Even in medieval times, Yandere archetype is already a thing).

"My precious. My precious, precious Robin." Tharja murmured with a creepy smile. "You'll be mine, ehehe."

Robin abruptly stop, "My stalker senses are tingling. It's her!" he bit his finger nail, thinking of different ways on how to lose her.

Robin closes his eyes and breathes in, after a few seconds he opens them, and made a break for it, running in the direction of the barracks.

"Oh Robin, you can't escape me." Tharja said, licking her lips and followed Robin, proving that you can run really fast in those really revealing clothes. "My precious!"

Robin looks back and saw a monster, not just any monster. It looked like demented spider, tongue sticking out.

"Ahhhh!" Robin shrieked, the Grandmaster that sacrificed himself to defeat Grima, that didn't even bat an eye in the face of a dragon, shrieked because of his stalker, you learn new things every day. "Save me!" he screamed,

-Inside the barracks-

"My Robin senses are tingling, he's in danger!" Vaike looked up from his poker game with Gauis and Gregor, when he heard Stahl's voice. 

"What's wrong?"

"I have no time to lose! To the Horse Mobile." he took his lance and run outside. 

"What's a mobile?" Vaike asked no one in particular. 

"Dunno." Gauis mumbled.

-Later-

"The evil has been vanquished!" Stahl exclaimed, hands on his hips laughing. A kneeling Robin was on his heel, and a passed out Tharja in front of him.

This was the scene that Yen'fey and Lissa saw they pass the courtyard.

"Welp, that's that." Lissa chirped, she was showing Yen'fey around when they saw the scene.

"Wow, you didn't even but an eye, is this normal?" Yen'fey, who was visiting for a while said.

"Yep, this is normal."

Yanfey decided he doesn't want to know.


	7. Chapter 7

Law 8: Please refrain from comparing Ryoma to a lobster, even if his armor makes him look like one, it's a bit disrespectful, even if he doesn't react to it too much.

It all started great for the first prince of Hoshido. He started off by waking up at exactly 5:00 am, went to the bath prepared for him by the maids, dried himself, and wore his over-complicated armor. (Really, how do you freaking wear that?)

He sat himself in front of the mirror, opened a circular plastic like thing, and one-by-one he gelled (I know it's medieval, but this a parody, so anything is possible.) his hair, measuring each and every one, to get that right spikes everywhere. After 2 hours of painstakingly gelling each hair, he was done. He dons his head armor, checks himself one's more. With a nod he stands up and exits his room. "Another perfect day! Nothing can go wrong!"

He just jinxed himself.

-Hoshido Plaza-

Today on Ryoma's schedule was a meet and greet, checking his people, asking if they need anything and etc.

When a kid came over to him, he kneels down "Hey, what is it you need child?"

"Hey, mister. Why do you look like a lobster?" Ryoma's smile never disappeared from his face. That's how awesome he is. "Well, child this is actually an armor that was based from the dragon that protects Hoshido. Calling it 'like a lobster' is disrespectful."

"Wow, I can't believe he can say that lie with a straight face." Takumi whispered to his sister. "Why does nii-san have that armor anyway?" Sakura asked, "When we were kids, he thought it was cool." Hinoka answered.

"Oh! Is that so? Sorry mister."

"It's okay child, do not say that again."

-Palace-

"So? You are the new recruit, what is your name soldier." The soldier stood up straight, (I can't think of anything so let's call him Random soldier). "RS Your majesty."

"Very well, welcome to the army. Any question soldier?"

"Just one, your majesty." RS said, "Why does your armor look like a lobster?" Ryoma's brow twitch, behind him he can hear his siblings holding in their laugh. "Soldier, this is actually an armor based from the dragon that protects Hoshido."

"Utter lies." Takumi deadpanned.

"Hush, brother."

Let's just say RS got a scolding.

From paper signing, to dinner. All the new maids and soldier that came to the castle asked the question 'Why do you like a lobster'. Finally after dinner, he went to his room, pulled a scroll titled Law. He dips a feather pen in ink, and added a law. "Saizo!" Ryoma called, a ninja appeared kneeling down, "I want you to give this to the minister! Make it official!"

The ninja nods and disappear. "Finally, this will end it!"

-A week later-

It didn't stop, it got worst. So Ryoma, with all the dignity he has left, put up with it. Looks like the King title, is not respected.

Fin.


	8. Chapter 8

Law 10: Camilla, will you please stop coddling me in front of everyone. I am already married to Azura and you already have a husband. I do not want Azura to think I am cheating on her or Ryoma to think you are cheating on him.

\------

"Corrin!" Camilla's voice echoed through the palace.

'Shoot! Is it that time already!' panicked, Corrin did what a sane man will do in a situation that involves over affectionate sister, alone in a castle and no one to help you. He high tailed it out of there. But alas, it was never meant to be. He only made it a few feet before a black blur tackled him to the ground.

With a thud him and the blur fall to the ground, he found his face being suffocated by a pair of something. He knows what it is, but he dare not say it.

"Corrin, you're as cute as a button today!"

"Hello, sister. It's so good see you too." He tried to say but the chest turned it into. 'hmmp gmnehm hghmmp.'

"Sister! Let him go! He can't breathe." Never has Elise's voice sound so good. 

"Oh!" She lets him go, making him land with a yelp.

"But he was so cute! I couldn't help myself." Camilla said with a pout. 

"You always find him cute sister." Leon's voice join in the conversation, Corrin was ignoring them; he was too busy breathing in life giving oxygen.

"That's because he is! But Shiro is cuter! Don't worry about that sweetie."

"Mother?!" Shiro exclaimed, embarrassed that his mother called him cute.

"But you are!"

"Succumb to it cousin, once Auntie calls you like that, it's forever stuck," Forrest said with a sigh, "she calls me bon bon cousin, at least cute is better."

"Wait? Mom calls you bon bon?" Shiro asked, 

"Yes, yes she does." Forrest said dejectedly, making Shiro wince.

"Ouch,"

"Yeah, ouch." They look at Camilla and saw her hugging Kamui, again.

"I give up, where's Xander and Ryoma when you need them!" Leon puts his hands up.

"Well, they are Kings! Of course they're busy!" Elise interjected, "Uncle Sumeragi, and Father are busy. So they're force to stand in for them."

"They're nothing more than a drunkard, they're probably somewhere in the outrealms," Leon said, ignoring the blue faced Kamui reaching for him.

'Elise your my only hope!' he change the direction of his hand. "Sorry Bro, once Sis gets like that, she's as stubborn as a barnacle." Elise looks away, Kamui shook a fist at their direction, the message was clear, 'Traitor!'

"Mother! Let go of uncle, what will Aunt Azura and Father think if they found you doing that!" Shiro scratched his head; Forrest was talking to her Aunt. 

"They ignore it." Leon said,

"Eh?" Shiro said confuse.

"They know Camilla by now, and what she can do. You can ask your Father about that." Leon continued,

"Yeah, if you bother her she'll bust out her Wyvern. The last time someone did, that person was in so much trauma that he forgot his name." Elise giggled when she saw Corrin tried to futilely remove Camilla of off him.

Forrest and Shiro look at each other; they shrug and return to watching their Uncle turn limp in Camilla's arms. "May you rest in peace Uncle." The 2 clamp their hands together and offered a prayer.


	9. Chapter 9

Law 11: If you share holy blood, Major or Minor, you are too closely related and can't date. So stop asking me out Julia! We have the same mother for Naga's sake!

"Seliph!"

"Get away from me woman!" Seliph shouted behind him, a really determined half-sister not far behind. 

"But I love you!"

"Is that in a sibling way or the other way!" Seliph yelled,

"Both!" Julia stated nonchalantly. 

"Are you mad sister! We're half siblings!"

"Blood is not important in the name of love!" Julia declared,

"Why!" Seliph shouted to the heavens, cursing his ancestors. His only form of salvation was his Father. So running he made his way to the throne room, hoping his father is there.

"Cousin run while you can! I'll hold her off!" Leif shouted stopping in front of him. 

"Thank you cousin! May you survive!" Seliph said with happiness and run pass him.

"Cousin Julia! I hold this road! You shall not pass!" he brandished his sword, not a second later a scream was heard behind Seliph. 

"Leif!" Seliph exclaimed when he saw his Cousin sail to the air. "Wait? Isn't this the second floor!" he said in realization.

"I'm okay!" a bang was heard a second later. "So not okay!"

"Your sacrifice will not be in vain! I'll get too father!" with those words, a surge of power went into his veins. He roars and run faster than ever. 

"It's futile brother~, I will find you! And I will love you!" Julia shouted, Seliph turned into a corner and run smack dab on Althena's armored chest. He did a back flip worthy of a prince.

"Seliph? What are you doing? And have you seen my brother?" He ignored his cousin and run, holding a hand on his bleeding nose. "What was that about?"

"Cousin, have you seen Seliph?" (I know they aren't cousins, but they treat her as one.) she looks back and saw Julia looking left and right. "Yeah, he went that way." She pointed behind her. "Thank you!" she gives her a hug and waved goodbye, following the direction of where Althena pointed. She groans rubbing the bridge of her nose. "How am I related to those 2? I mean 1."

"Oh Seliph~"

"Damn you Althena!" Seliph shouted, 

"Brother!"

Seeing the throne room door brought tears to Seliph's beautiful face, he yelps when he was tackled to the ground. "Finally!" Julia squealed rubbing her cheeks on her brother's back. "No!"

"We can love each other brother! I know someone who married his cousin! So it's totally applicable to us!"

In another universe, Azura and Corrin sneezed.

"So sleep tight!" casting a sleeping spell, Seliph went limp below her. Carrying him on her shoulders, she makes her way to her room.


End file.
